How to Talk About Music you Hate

Your jaw clenches hard and your shoulders automatically lock up in tension. If only you could just close your ears! When you hear that song you hate, there’s not much you can do to shut it out, short of putting on noise-canceling headphones or abruptly leaving the room. Nobody knows why we like certain kinds of music and dislike others, but it’s definitely true that we don’t all like the same things.

What does it mean when we dislike certain bands, songs or genres? Is it possible to gain a better understanding of our world by taking a closer look at things we dislike? Grit  your teeth and keep listening to learn more about how to talk about music you hate…

Music affects our brains so viscerally that it is hard to remain objective and respectful when we hear something we don’t like. You’ve probably heard people making jokes at the expense of artists or genres that they dislike or read a review in which the author was more interested in showing off his ability to craft witty put-downs than talking openly about the music.  How do we avoid falling into this trap and create a more positive, constructive conversation around music we dislike?

Empathy is the key to maintaining respect. If you are a musician yourself, you know how much work goes into even the worst song and how nerve-wracking it can be to perform original material and release recordings. If you aren’t a musician, try to put yourself in the artist’s shoes. Instead of laughing or making insulting remarks, imagine the hours of work and try to think about what you might be feeling if you were in their place. How would you want to be treated?

Once you have shifted your mindset to a more empathetic state, keep listening! Ask yourself why you don’t like what you are hearing. Do you dislike a particular instrument (bagpipes and accordions seem to attract a lot of ire)? Does the genre embody a particular lifestyle or culture that you don’t identify with or find alienating? Many people experience this cultural alienation when they hear rap or country, as both genres tend to encapsulate very specific lifestyles. Do you have a negative association or bad memory that the song brings up? Do the lyrics bother you?

Figure out exactly what it is that you don’t like and you’ll likely gain a little more insight into your own musical taste. If you know someone who loves the song or band that drives you bananas, ask them in a non-confrontational way what they like about it. You might even gain a different appreciation for the song you previously could not stand.

Finally, focus more on things you do like! How many times have you heard someone say they’re tired of even hearing about a big pop star, like Kanye West or Lady Gaga? What if instead of complaining about over-exposed artists you feel are overrated, you shared more about smaller artists who you believe deserve more attention? We all have the power to change the musical landscape with our words, just by keeping a positive, empathetic mentality and sharing more of what we love. Of course, if you love Kanye or Lady Gaga, then turn it up and enjoy more of what you love!

What songs really grind your gears? Does a second or third listen tell  you something new about yourself or your taste in music? We want to hear about it! Let us know in the comments!
–Megan L. TakeLessons Staff Member and Blogger