A wise man once said, “Any man who wants to be president is either an egomaniac or crazy.” Those words of incandescent opinion capture the truth of a politician’s complex, occupational undertaking. President Eisenhower recognized the immensely treacherous path that awaited anyone seeking to pursue work in that most worrisome office he had come to loathe after years of reluctant servitude. I have to admit; after hearing his quite pessimistic view of any individual aspiring to heights he had once reached, I thought to myself that he might’ve been rather veridical. In many ways I embody those aforementioned traits, laughably. I have aspirations of restoring the world peace that existed long before men turned against their brothers in hate over resolvable transgressions. I plan to redistribute the wealth of the globe in such a way that people of all nations will know the privilege of everlasting water, plentiful food reserves, and sustaining shelter.
Possessing all of those aspirations in an age where our world’s greatest powers repeatedly resort to violence over resources as non-essential to sustainable human life as oil, whereas its synthetic likeness can be easily manufactured by most industrial nations, is essentially ludicrous. I’ve prepared for a life of ridicule and hate amidst the process of my truth-telling campaign among the masses, and so I have fittingly devised goals such as obtaining office in local, provincial elections and later achieving membership in this nation’s congressional body before aspiring to the presidency.