Are daily frustrations getting the best of you? Take a look at these 5 helpful anger management techniques from Odenton, MD Life Coach Vance L...
Having a bad day, week, or month? Things not working out the way you planned? It happens to the best of us. But the best of us make adjustments, and do not unleash our anger. Lets talk about Ctrl, Alt Deleting your anger.
Anger is not inherently bad. It is what we do with that anger that determines our future. I remember reading a study many years ago about anger. The basic point was that anger is a secondary emotion. Anger is preceded by frustration. What’s interesting about this is that the study said on average we have 20 frustrations a day. If that is true, why do some people lash out and others deal well with frustration?
When we get angry we expect a certain outcome. But expectations are future frustrations. In other words, are you operating with needs vs. wants thinking? How many frustrations could be avoided if we took the time to look at needs vs. wants?
Let’s say, for example, you got passed up for a promotion at work. Your current position allows you to make ends meet, plus a few luxuries from time to time. So the promotion is a “want” and not a need. Getting angry over it could in the long term damage your current job. You may become less sociable at work if you’re holding onto anger, and soon thereafter you subconsciously don’t work to your full potential. Next thing you know your work performance has been noted and you’re not considered for the next promotion. We use anger to punish people, but the person that carries the anger is the one who gets punished.
Instead, we must learn to use our anger for a constructive outlet. We are the gatekeepers to our happiness. Anger keeps that gate closed.
So what are the best self-care measures or anger management techniques to use? I like to think of them as more of personal growth or healthy lifestyle acts. I embrace more of a holistic approach, as follows:
- Start with your diet. If you are someone who is angry all the time, I would suggest looking at your sugar and caffeine consumption. Then work on cutting that down. Why? Because they stimulate your heart, respiratory, and central nervous system. It’s not often we’re angry when we’re calm. But when our heart is pumping and our mind is racing, we’ve now set the table for anger.
When you’re dealing with anger, it would be nice to just Ctrl, Alt, Delete. Unfortunately, that is not possible. It’s more like defragging. By engaging in the anger management techniques listed above, you will create more space within your life. And by doing so, you will find that anger may no longer get the better of you.
Vance L. has been an educator, consultant, and Life Coach for 30 years. He currently sees clients and teaches on various subjects ranging from health and relationships to spirituality. Vance holds degrees in counseling and divinity and has worked on both local and national platforms. Book lessons with Vance here!
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Suzy S.